Kiwi See the World through my eyes - Cambodia

Kiwi See the World “through my eyes”- Cambodia

We took a bus over the border into Cambodia and with quiet trepidation surveyed the view from the window. In many ways it reminded us of Lao. Lots of dilapidated villages, wooden shacks and extremely poor, a sharp contrast to the more affluent Vietnam we had left behind. We were however pleasantly surprised to arrive into Phnom Penh, which was a bustling, relatively clean glittering city, much to Michaels relief who had fretted and questioned us about our likely accommodation the whole way.

Our first day was to tour the Killing Fields and S-21 genocide museum. A former high school converted into jail where thousands of Cambodians we're brutally tortured, starved and murdered by the Khmer Rouge regime between 1975 -1979. A graphic and harrowing experience to look into the eyes of the men, women and children catalogued and photographed on entering the jail never to leave. 3 million victims over quarter of the population murdered by the end of this period. It was hard to see, and I was moved to tears listening through headphones to the accounts of survivors and testimonies read at war crimes hearings. 

Empathy is not one of Michaels strengths, so we had repeatedly talked to him in advance about Cambodia’s dark history and why he should be respectful and considerate of his surroundings. Throughout our visit to the sites he listened intently to the tours and when questioned afterwards surprised us with his incite. He couldn’t understand how a dictator such as Pol Pot had died in-home detention and even expressed anger at how the Cambodian people had been treated. We took that as a win! 

Our preparation however soon backfired as he has since developed a whole new set of anxieties as a result. Reading out loud extracts from the book Year Zero, I read an account of a young woman who survived the Khmer Rouge by hiding in a tree while her family were slaughtered below her.  She described how ants ate through her limbs, but she remained in the tree for greater fear of what was below.  As a result, Michael now is paranoid about ants, which are basically everywhere in Cambodia. To the point he has taken to standing up, holding his plate to eat, rather than sit down at any table in outdoor cafes.  Jason and I have realised we are now constantly scanning and eliminating ants before he spots them, so we can finish a beer without having to relocate!  Sat on a bamboo train in Battambang we noticed that an insect was crawling on his back and secretly captured the moment on camera and enjoyed a private chuckle to ourselves with him blissfully unaware.  Retaining a sense of humour is essential however warped it may be 🤣 

As a treat for Michael we visited the Aeon Mall in Phnom Penh and was again surprised by its quality.  Here we experienced another first on this trip. A 4DX cinema. Not actually knowing what 4dx was, we booked seats to see ‘Solo - A Star Wars story’. After the first sixty seconds where we were blasted with cold fog and the chair tilted turbulently, I was left wearing my drink, freezing cold and realising it was going to be a long movie! While fun poor Michael protested that 4 DX is just too distracting!!

Apart from a few heat related upsets Michael has settled down again after losing ground in Vietnam. Cambodia is certainly more laid back, quieter, less people and barely any traffic so we can walk more freely in the streets without him getting so stressed and upset. We have also been more consistent with a routine, making sure he has down time in the afternoons to chill, watch U tube and listen to music. 

Siem Reap 

A popular tourist spot in the North west of Cambodia was another must do place. The city itself is drab but it’s the gateway to the vast complex of ruins dating between the 9^th – 15^th centuries.  We found ourselves a nice hotel with a beautiful pool and Michael was suitably impressed, so much so we struggled to get him to leave the pristine hotel and venture into the streets beyond. Poverty is not hard to find in Cambodia. Foul rubbish and the stench of excrement from drains would lead daily to a torrent of abuse on how uncivilised Asia is and why did we have to come here. We need to go home! 

He did however enjoy our exertion to the temple complex. His imagination sparked from Unchartered PlayStation game where Nathan Drake hunts through temples to seek treasure and relics. Yes, I even know the characters names now too!!

Michaels favourite was the Ta Prohm temple used in the tomb raider movie. In character he took off exploring all the intricate passage ways and found some amazing sights alas no treasure.  Oozing charm, the rundown ruins, overgrown by the jungle and trees and was by far the highlight of all the temples we visited. Our exploration uncovered even a hidden buddha and believe it or not a dinosaur! There was treasure to be found after all!

Angkor Wat being the largest temple in the world was a little disappointing.  Very crowded even in the low season and extremely touristy. Unfortunately, there were tour buses of Chinese tourists visiting at the same time which seems to have become an issue to Michael. He finds them pushy and loud, getting cross and irritated around them and becomes equally as obnoxious in return. We need to rectify this or our trip to China will be a challenge! He was also refused entry into the central annex due to his age, which he took great offense too and objected loudly telling anyone who could hear that he was in fact taller than most Asians and it wasn’t fair.  Still worth the visit although we preferred the spectacular Bayon Temple with its multitude of smiling Buddhas facing every direction. 

Another favourite temple was Banteay Srie, Citadel of the women also known as the Pink temple. Made of red sandstone intricate carved and much smaller than the other temples. A quiet, romantic setting and mum enjoyed this site.

Our hotel was situated only a short distance to Pub street, a lively area full of bars and restaurants but found we were plagued by touts and beggars, mostly victims of land mines. Once again Michaels complete lack of empathy became apparent by telling people abruptly NO and to go away. While there are signs saying as such, his complete lack of compassion for others really disappoints Jason and I who have struggled with some of the sights we’ve seen.  As a result, I have been scolded on numerous occasions for giving away food or money to beggars. They should apparently just “get a job and stop being lazy”. A young girl begging for my half-eaten ice cream really distressed me, bedraggled and filthy she stood wearing just an oversized t-shirt and mum close by clearly malnourished was sat cradling another sleeping child.  Michael was furious after I had handed it over and proceeded to shoo the girl away. I was so cross, I followed her and pressed some money into mum's hands. His lack of compassion and empathy for others is hard for us to understand. His black and white hard wiring may become a strength in an ever-increasing analytical world but without kindness and empathy what a sad world it will be.

Battambang

Battambang was a pleasant short stay. A small town, but we still found plenty to do. A Crocodile farm in the middle of suburbs was a strange find which also introduced us to a lovely lady who was keen to show us around. She was only a baby when she was separated from her family during the Khmer Rouge and grew up never knowing her name, where she came from or whether she has any surviving relatives. Extremely humbling to spend time with her and she took us on a local tour of Temples and sadly more killing fields and caves. No town in Cambodia it appears was untouched by the Khmer Rouge. We learned how to make rice paper and sampled rice wine as well as visiting bat caves where every evening at same time a stream of bats leave the cave for 45 minutes!! It was amazing to watch. Michael seemed relaxed and happy and much to our amazement agreed when invited to stay and play pool in a nearby cafe while mum and dad climbed another thousand steps to see yet another temple. Unfortunately, we were longer than he thought, and our guide had joked ‘we must be long gone’! We descended to find a distraught Michael who had taken her literally, coming towards us on the back of a scooter.  He had panicked, lost the plot much to the bewilderment of our guide and angrily insisted that they come find us! There’s no escaping it seems ☹

Our accommodation while presenting as a hotel was run more like a hostel. Very laid back with lots of young backpackers partying and drugs openly smoked and sold behind the bar.  Poor Michael was furious after we made him leave the pool table because of the strong weed atmosphere and after that told anyone that lit up loudly it's illegal and it’s NOT OK to do around kids!

One of Michael's most endearing qualities is how he says it as he sees it.  Not always appropriate but never the less his black and white view on life can often give a refreshing view on our surroundings. He has been scathing at the volume of rubbish plastic and sewage that we have come across on the beaches so far in Asia and frequently has told strangers off for littering. Our clean, green, little kiwi perhaps having a rose-tinted view on our own environment back home. He has refused to get on a bus until he could find a bin to put his rubbish in and launched into a furious rant at the driver who just grabbed the bottle and threw on the verge. He looked bemused and fortunately had no English to understand the rant from Michael, who proceeded to tell him that this was his future world that he was destroying and thanks to him the future is screwed cause he's too lazy to use a bin!

Otres Beach 

Unfortunately, the raining season caught up with us and we spent 4 days trapped in a hotel room with torrential rain, wind and thunderstorms raging all around us. Otres beach renown as a tranquil retreat for backpackers to relax with great food, snorkelling and island hopping was not really as we had imagined. Otres Village was a shambolic nest of huts, restaurants and hotels with a river of orange gulpy clay to wade through daily. We did however find some good food which became the highlight of our day but without the weather there was little else to do in the area.  Fortunately, the beach makes up for the squalor erected alongside, although we decided not to swim as the rubbish and rivers of polluted rank water that flowed from the village into the ocean was disgusting and so sad to see.

The forced down time has done Michael good who has slept heaps and totally relaxed. A commotion outside, was the hotel pool full of local boys all playing in the rain. Michael was watching them and without prompting decided to go out and join them. Wow, what a result! This was the first time in six months of travel he’s initiated play with other kids and they were all fascinated by this tall, white boy showing them how to do a ‘Manu jump’ into the pool. A simple thing but I have to say, I felt so proud!

 Hotel bound we got to see the ABs demolish France. Yah 👍 However we had to abandoned plans to visit the islands. Probably fortuitous given that we had planned to stay in a Bamboo hut on the beach with just a mosquito net and no tv.  With Michaels new anxiety towards crawling bugs that could well have proven a challenge! So instead we’ve packed up for Kampot with fingers crossed the sun finds us again.

Kampot 

An overcrowded bus station which reeked of sewage was not the best start to our journey to Kampot which got worse after we packed into a bus with 10 more people than it could hold. Michael was clearly rattled and objected to his surroundings the whole way, although there was little we could do to appease him.  

The situation worsening when we arrived at our accommodation to find that it was more of a hippie resort, an eco-pool, another way of describing green and our room was full of guess what? Yep “ants!” to be fair to him they were big ants too and he promptly melted down. There were no negotiations, he was past that point. There was little left to do but to leave. Apologising to the staff as Michael was screaming for me to hurry up, we departed as quickly as we had arrived and hunted down another hotel. After having to inspect the room before paying we settled for the night only to wake up in the morning soaked with the air con dripping on me all night and ants all over our bags.  

Third time lucky we found a quiet idyllic little hotel, ant free and comfy with a fantastic restaurant just around the corner. After Michael had quizzed them about the standard of their kitchens he refused to eat anywhere else for the duration of our stay. We didn’t push it. The food was excellent, and he quickly built up a rapport with the waiters who made a point of spoiling him every day. We are working on helping Michael to turn on the charm he shows the waiters to everyone else while we are out and about. When he’s nice to people, they will inevitably be nice back. To remind him, we have adopted the saying ‘you get more bees with honey’.  Now when he glares murderously at the local who won’t stop staring at him, we can affectionally prompt him with “honey” 😊

As it turned out, Kampot was one of our favourite destinations in Cambodia. We loved exploring the local countryside, rice paddies and seeing how people live, work and play, although Michael continued to struggle with the squalor, smell and the constant attention from the locals.  We took a trip into the spooky Bokor mountains, exploring the abandoned structures neglected through conflict and took a boat ride down the river to check out fire flies. Unfortunately, the swarms of biting bugs left him leaping around the deck, hitting himself and screaming to get off! Always entertaining for the locals when we take Michael out of his comfort zone!! 

A bull and cart ride around the Kampot Pepper plantation was without a doubt a highlight for Michael who just loved the experience. It was also another opportunity for Mum and Dad to have a little chuckle at Mr hygiene’s expense. He was blissfully unaware that the hat plonked on to his head, had only minutes earlier been used to shield mum from a bull urinating.  😊 I know not nice, but honestly the laughs keep us sane!

Cambodia, a country where 1 in four were murdered, all the intellects, professionals, teachers, leaving a huge gap in society. The average age of Cambodia being only 25, this is a young country building itself up from the ground once again. Poverty thrives here but unlike other parts of Asia the Cambodians work hard at carving out a living from the ruins of its past. Building homes, new infrastructure, re-educating and rebuilding their country.  There are lots of ways Cambodia still needs to grow but you can't help admiring their strength of character and tenacity.

On the whole Cambodia has been a great trip. Michael has been relaxed and happier than he was in Vietnam. He has become a lot more confident when talking with strangers and has been more open to trying new experiences. He has been eating more local food, provided of course it’s in a restaurant and not from the side of the road.  He is still checking our room every night for bugs but has reduced the number of times he visits the toilet during every meal in case of diarrhoea, to now once or twice!!  He is still obviously very anxious as we must repeat everything constantly until he’s satisfied he knows what we are doing and why. We have replaced the ‘empty bottles’ with drum sticks and restricted him to drumming in the hotel but as a result we have now noticed he’s started to habitually pull and wobble his teeth constantly instead. Another area we need to work on, but he is doing well. He still tells us daily that he wants to go home but now not until after we’ve done Euro Disney in August! Yes, that progress! When we challenge him why, given all the amazing experiences he’s having, he replies that he just feels safer at home. ☹ The big wide world still it appears, a scary and frightening place for our young man.